Yesterday was such a hard day. There was work drama, and some very high anxiety about my health. And on top of it, I am currently seeing my Mom through the end of her life, which could now come at any time. It's was the kind of day that left me feeling like I didn't want to juggle, or do much of anything.
I went to the park and sat on a bench, watching the river go by, fighting back tears. And trying to make myself get up and start throwing the balls. I knew it would work. I knew it.
I started by working on my three ball flash start. The first few throws felt forced, even fake, like doing something I didn't believe in. But as I became more and more absorbed in the attempts, the magic happened. I got out of my head, and things started to feel better. The three ball flash needs work, but it's so exciting when I do get it; I take 3 balls in one hand and throw them into the air one after another, until they are all airborne in a vertical column. Then, as they fall, I juggle them. It's really showy, and fun to do.
Next I worked on the clubs. I threw two balls and one club, which I'm getting very good at, and then I went to three clubs. I was very excited to get several runs of over ten throws with the clubs. I sat down to take a break, and of course, the thoughts and feelings came pouring into my head. But they felt different somehow, more approachable. I drove back to the pub and chatted with Dan and Luke for a bit, then went home and got some sleep. Today, things look better. And that's the real magic of juggling.
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